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Monday, February 6, 2012

Let's Keep it Real

Being honest is important to being a person of integrity. However, the most important person you have to be honest with is yourself. We can sometimes let ourselves see things in a light that makes us feel better about what we've done and about who we are. Sometimes this is a defense mechanism of masking the past, masking who we are, or what we've done, or what we let happen, or what we allowed others to do to us. Masking things seems like a way to cope with people or the past, but it's really just a temporary band-aid. The issue swells inside of your heart and later resurfaces in a different light or you become a different person because of what you're carrying inside of your heart. Sometimes we get angry at others and we don't really know why but the real problem lies within and has never been resolved. Check out a quick video I did about some simple steps to being honest with yourself. We all know that it's easier said than done, but it's a process that has to start somewhere. So, when you're ready to be real with yourself begin by:

 1) Admitting/acknowledging it. Whether it's the past, who you are, what you did, what you allowed to happen, or whatever is at the root of what troubles you.

2) Accept it. Whatever it is. Accept it for what it is and what it was. Forgive yourself and the parties involved in order to let go and use it as a lesson learned. But most importantly, let it go. We did an exercise called Pandora's Box in one of our meetings. You write the name of a problem of a person or something you did in the past that hurt you. You can also write how it made you feel on it. Once you have written it all down you put it in the box and it's a physical representation of your letting it go. You can even tear the paper to pieces if that helps.

3) Honor yourself. Decide who you want to be from this moment, what you will accept, what you want, who you want to be in your life, how you want to live your life. Honoring yourself means being true to yourself and your feelings; it means acting in alignment with what your heart desires. If you say you no longer want to allow people to talk down to you and you're in a situation where someone is talking down to you it might make you feel uncomfortable. You have to honor your feelings and your wishes either by removing yourself from the situation or addressing the person (if appropriate) and being true to yourself.

Keeping it real with others is fine but none of it matters if you can't be honest with you. You can do it.


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